This Critic Is Not Yet Rated

Dear Mr. Gacy

2011-12-18T02:31:00.000-08:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film Information:Dear Mr. Gacy

I read The Last Victim, the book written by Jason Moss many years ago, and was surprised to find a film adaption.

And very much like the book, I felt that there were an awful lot of creative liberties being taken when it comes to how sociopaths and college students interact and how lax prison security can be. I could be very wrong, but I have my doubts that I am. I've not been able to find any verification, save for quite a few people out there who felt Moss was full of it too.

I knew it was going to be an interesting film nonetheless, given what is known of John Wayne Gacy and his various pen-pals while sitting on death row.

Gacy is very well portrayed by William Forsythe. He's disturbing yet respectable one minute, and then he makes you terribly uncomfortable the next. Hands down, the best I've seen when it comes to tackling Gacy's character.

Jesse Moss plays Jason Moss, (There is no relation between the two.)a boy who decides to do a project for school on the inner-workings of Gacy's mind by posing as the perfect victim. Given the questionable material provided by the Moss-author, I thought that Moss-actor was pretty convincing.

There is a fair dose of disturbing conversation here. Gacy leaves few taboo stones unturned in his correspondence with the young man... everything from suggesting prostitution as an easy way to make money to having sex with his younger brother for kicks. It can get uncomfortable, but it doesn't even cover half of the claims made in the book.

Regardless of the questionable "true" part in this Based On A True Story film, it is worth taking a peek at.

Similar Films: Gacy - The Crawlspace, 8213 Gacy House, The Silence of the Lambs

Films with William Forsythe: Highway Hitcher, Hammerhead, The Rock, Russo, Direct Hit, The Last Letter, G-men From Hell, The Devil's Rejects

The Reef

2011-12-18T01:51:00.000-08:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film Information:The Reef

Ever see the movie Open Water? If you have, then you already have a pretty good idea of what you are in for while viewing The Reef. people get stranded in the middle of the ocean and basically ring the dinner bell for sharks.

Look at the movie posters, for cryin' out loud. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know.

It's really hard to expect much from a film when it doesn't even bother to hide the idea that it is riding such blatant coattails.

This film is also supposed to be based on a true story. I don't know the story itself, and asides from the nagging feeling that I'd seen this story before I had a very hard time believing that this actually happened.

Let me clarify my reasoning here. I'm not altogether unfamiliar with great white sharks. I know that the Jaws genre movie-goers were raised on the idea that white sharks will relentlessly hunt down humans and consider them to be a fine delicacy.

But they aren't. They don't even like the taste of us. Almost all accounts of great white attacks are exploratory bites... just enough for them to figure out that we aren't seals. If they take a nibble of something they like, they are also prone to executing a surprise attack from below.

Tiger sharks, on the other hand, will follow a food source and gobble up damned near anything that looks even remotely edible. Including turtles.

That being said, I had a hard time buying into the true story angle as soon as I identified the shark. (At least Open Water did a good job casting its sharks!)

But there was another thing that really did me in on this film. It plodded along slowly and relied heavily on red herring scare tactics for over an hour. (aka "AHHH.. oh, it's just the cat" moments.) That is the problem with plots involving a small cast stranded somewhere without a lot to play off of... if you take away all the false starts, scenery coverage, and stock footage you just end up with an expensive short film.

While the characters were fairly believable once the shark showed up, I really didn't care about them. Nor did I root for the shark to eat any particular one of them.

One thing I will say, they did a decent job with the shark attacks. Kudos to the editor here. I imagine that anyone with a serious shark phobia would hit the ceiling multiple times while watching this film.

But overall, I really didn't care for it. I honestly wanted to turn it off after going about 70 minutes into it, but decided that I'd waited so long to see the damned shark that I might as well just ride it out.

Similar Films: Open Water, Jaws, Jaws 2, Jaws - The Revenge, Great White/The Last Shark, Shark Attack, Tintorera

Other Films by Writer/Director Andrew Traucki: Black Water

Simon Says

2011-08-16T02:10:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film Information: Simon Says

Ever wonder exactly how crazy Crispin Glover can play a character? If so, this is the film for you.

Simon Says is a story about some college kids who decide to spend a weekend camping at a very remote spot near a minuscule-sized town that seems to be sparsely infested with twins. Unfortunately for them, they also meet a pair of very unusual brothers who have a lot of family issues and one of them likes to play with pickaxes.

Glover plays both Simon and Stanley in the classic good twin/bad twin combo. It's also one of the darkest roles I've seen him in. When I see him starring in any horror film, I expect him to play a twisted character like Willard or Montag in The Wizard of Gore. He's good at playing strangely charismatic but completely batshit crazy.

Glover's charcter(s) demand a wide range from him and he rises to the challenge. The supporting characters were stereotypical but still convincing. The violence was clever although the story was somewhat predictable when all is said and done.

Overall, I thought it was a fun little horror film.

Similar Films: The Hills Run Red Hatchet Bloody Murder The Hills Have Eyes

Films with Crispin Glover: Hot Tub Time Machine Alice in Wonderland The Donner Party Freezer Burn: Invasion of Laxdale Beowulf The Wizard of Gore Epic Movie Drop Dead Sexy Charlie's Angels - Full Throttle Willard Like Mike Charlie's Angels The People Vs. Larry Flynt The Doors Wild at Heart River's Edge Back to the Future Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter

Hobo With A Shotgun

2011-08-16T01:38:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film Information: Hobo With A Shotgun

I've dubbed this film: "What Troma would do if they had a big budget".

This was just a fun movie. It didn't take itself too seriously and went way over the top without any apologies. it has a nice cast of outrageous characters and a very simple revenge story. And it's nice to see that Rutger Hauer still has it when it comes to playing a psycho.

A hobo (Rutger Hauer) rides the rails to a town that is completely over-run by crime and corruption. After getting his ass kicked for trying to rescue a kind-hearted prostitute (Molly Dunsworth, he decides to start cleaning up the town by blasting away the scumbags with a shotgun.

It is a bloodbath, but in the campy sort of way. The showy villain (Brian Downey) has never met a debauchery he didn't like and his two sons are stumbling over one another to walk in daddy's footsteps. You can almost picture the writers sitting around a table and thinking of the worst possible things you can do... like set fire to a busload of children or start a "Kill the Homeless" campaign.

Don't expect a lot of gripping suspense or deep drama here. Just sit back and enjoy the messy ride.

Similar Films: Black Dynamite The Toxic Avenger Sin City

Films with Rutger Hauer: Dead Tone Minotaur Batman Begins Sin City Bone Daddy Redline Mr. Stitch Blind Fury The Hitcher Blade Runner

Films with Molly Dunsworth: Jesse Stone: Innocents Lost The Tenth Circle The Memory Keeper's Daughter

Sick Girl

2011-08-16T01:05:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film Information: Sick Girl

Sick Girl has somewhat of a reputation for being a controversial film. Unfortunately, it turns out that this review is another one of my Public Service Announcements. Yes, it's that bad.

You know it's pretty bad when the nicest thing I can say about a film has to do with the way they pigmented the blood. Oh yes, there is lots of blood in this one. However, I'm not too terribly clear on why there is a lot of blood.

Near as I can tell, the story is about a girl who decides that murder is the answer to all her brother's bully problems, and then her brother-issue problems, and then her for-the-Hell-of-it problems. She's very vague about it, and if the supporting characters have some deeper insight into the plot they just aren't telling us.

Or maybe they did tell us and we just couldn't hear them. The sound is terrible. I watched this with Garith and we think we heard maybe one good line of dialog in the whole film. Unfortunately, the wretchedness of the rest of the film has both of us forgetting exactly what that line was.

The acting seemed very forced. It was hard to tell if the lead was playing crazy or playing mentally slow. The rest of the characters lacked any type of depth. They were, to put it bluntly, cannon fodder.

And what of the controversy, you might ask? It came in the form of a penis mutilation that evolved into a gross-out rape scene. I would give it points for creativity here, except there really was no reason at all for it. In my opinion, a penis mutilation is the fart joke of torture porn... they are often used to "enhance" a story by adding something guaranteed to make people cringe. (Which makes them a popular gimmick for films that have nothing else going for them.)

Don't get me wrong, I have seen very good use of such mutilations that did add to the story. Hostel: Part II used such a mutilation to punctuate a point. Teeth was almost obliged to have one. But then we have the likes of Antichrist that seem to just toss one in order to wake up the audience and secure infamy.

Overall, it was hard for me to get through this film (and not because I thought it was gross.)

Similar Films: Antichrist Borderline Cult Machined

Final Destination 5

2011-08-15T23:16:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film Information: Final Destination 5

I accept this apology for the 4th film in the series.

Truth be told, I wasn't expecting to be entertained. The whole FD series started going downhill for me after the second film and I knew there was no way that they would ever top that amazing car wreck. By the fourth film they were spoon-feeding the viewers all the clues that I expected them to just hand out copies of the screenplay at the door.

This fifth installment did surprize me.

The obligatory opening catastrophe really wasn't anything incredible unless you happen to be fearful of heights. While a bridge collapse is a horrifying thought, the scenario played out a little too over-the-top to really be believable. (I really wish they'd stay away from cars in the opening. Like I said, they just can't top the second film.)

It was nice to see that they went back to misdirection in many of the post-catastrophe deaths. I was most impressed with the first survivor-victim's demise... both how it was executed and the makeup.

The ending is very predictable, at least if you are familiar with the series. It's what you don't see that gives it away the most*, although if you don't pick up on that within the first fifteen minutes than there will be verbal clues dropped throughout the rest of the film.

The film doesn't take itself terribly seriously, but rather just wants to be fun. We know the formula. We know people are going to die. It's fun to try to figure out how they are going to get caught by Death Itself. And it's nice to see Tony Todd pop up once in a while.

Certainly not the best in the series, but not nearly as cringe-worthy as FD4. If you are a fan of the series, I think you'll appreciate why I consider this film to be an apology.

Related Films:Final Destination Collection: 4 Film Favorites (Final Destination / Final Destination 2 / Final Destination 3 / The Final Destination)

Films with Director Steven Quale: Aliens of the Deep Superfire

Films with Tony Todd: Candyman Candyman - Farewell to the Flesh Candyman 3: Day of the Dead Hatchet Hatchet II The Graves Are You Scared 2 Wishmaster

*MAJOR SPOILER: I'm referring to the standard over-use of the number 180 that we see in films 2-4. If you play the FD drinking game, you'll be pretty sober on that count.

My Soul to Take

2011-05-12T00:28:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: My Soul to Take

How Wes Craven got his groove back...

I started out being a big Wes Craven fan. The Last House on the Left caught my attention and I really enjoyed the original A Nightmare on Elm Street. But then his films started becoming a hit-or-miss game for me, at least up until Scream came along and blew everything right out of the water. The Scream series kept me interested because it was fun, and not in a I-have-to-shoot-this-in-a-hurry-and-toss-in-some-kinda-funny-lines kind of way.

Then the inevitable happened... Just as Freddy Kruger started losing his edge and becoming a stand-up comedian with anger issues*, the Scream team started getting a little too wrapped up in the follow-the-movie-rules outline by the third film**.

Then 'ole Wes seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth while brutal remakes were being done on his earlier films.

When I heard that he was finally coming out with a new film and speculation was that it would be the “next Freddy”, I was a bit worried. I understand wanting to keep the gravy train coming, especially after seeing some pretty bad remakes that butchered the franchise for the next generation of horror fans, but Big Money tends to like to bet on proven horses nursed on standard formulas. I was expecting Freddy Kruger with a makeover.

I am now ready to admit that I was wrong to think like that, and my sincerest apologies to Mr. Craven.

My Soul to Take was, quite simply, a fun movie. It fits snugly into the teen slasher genre with a creepy story and a nice take on the classic genre character stereotypes. But most impressive to me was that you could tell he was having fun with it, and that's what made it so entertaining.

The story itself is pretty simple. A man with multiple personality disorder has a little problem with one of his other selves being a raging homicidal maniac that people called 'The Ripper”. After killing his pregnant wife but failing to murder his unborn son, he's shot up by the police and put into an ambulance to be treated for his wounds. The ambulance never makes it to the hospital after taking a detour into a river and The Ripper's body is never found. That same night, six other infants are also born prematurely.

Sixteen years later, the mystery of the disappearing maniac has become legendary and the seven kids born on the night he may or may not have died have made a fun ritual of symbolically “killing” The Ripper on their collective birthday in order to prevent him from rising back up from the river. However, this time the police disrupt their little curfew-breaking party before they can complete their ritual, and you just know that something terrible is just waiting to happen.

The kids themselves are not completely believable characters, or at least I can only hope that things haven't gotten so bad since the time I was a teen. But that doesn't mean that they are not fun to watch, and that's what is important. The central story focuses on Bug (Max Thieriot), who is The Ripper's son, and his best friend Alex (John Magaro), who is a bit of a rebel. At first I was afraid it was going to be a good kid/bad kid buddy film, but soon we learn that both boys can be quite creative with their mischief.

I understand that the film didn't do quite so well during it's theatrical release, and I think that might have something to do with The Ripper himself. Unlike Ghostface or Freddy, The Ripper does not have that kind of charisma to keep us very interested in him. It's more fun watching the kids torture each other than it is when he shows up. However, the suspense does keep up a good pace and the story doesn't flounder to try to stretch out screen time. The Ripper, while not a memorable character, does tend to pop up just enough to make it a scary ride.

So while I enjoyed the film, I can see where others may not find it as entertaining. But I think that fans of the 1980s slasher genre may find it worth a peek.

* Yes, I realise that Mr. Craven only directed two of the Nightmare on Elm Street films, but the character of Freddy was his creation that ran amuck with the franchise. He suffered the same fate as Clive Barker's Hellraiser characters in being forever associated with anything that spurts out of the vein.

** I have not seen the fourth Scream movie yet.

Similar Films: Psycho Shocker The Exorcist III Hideaway

Films with director Wes Craven: The Last House on the Left The Serpent and the Rainbow The People Under the Stairs Deadly Friend Cursed A Nightmare on Elm Street Swamp Thing Shocker The Hills Have Eyes Scream 1,2,& 3 Vampire in Brooklyn

Films with max Thieriot: Chloe Kit Kittredge: An American Girl Jumper Nancy Drew The Astronaut Farmer The Pacifier Catch That Kid

Films with John Magaro: The Box Taking Chance Assassination of a High School President The Life Before Her Eyes The Brave One

Savage Messiah

2011-05-10T23:04:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Savage Messiah

This is a film about child and spouse abuse, and it can be difficult to watch. This is amplified when you remember that it is a biographical film. This film was based on the events of the Roch Thériault Cult Case in Canada.

The overall theme is a battle of the sexes, as the story primarily focuses on the battle between the charismatic but abusive cult leader Roch (Luc Picard) and the strong female social worker Paula (Polly Walker) determined to take him down. The struggle between the two characters is strong, and the ordeals of the many women and children who are caught in the middle add to a very powerful story.

The pace of the story is very nice, and what you would expect. A seemingly happy but non-conformist "family" living in the woods and claiming to have found a better way of life. Some neighbors think they are grand, others suspect that there is something not quite right going on, and still others know for a fact that there is abuse going on but don't take the initiative to come forward.

However, the film also shines a glaring light on the social services... the people who have the job of sniffing out abuse and protecting the victims of it. Not my area...not enough money...everything looks okay...blah blah blah... You feel just as frustrated as Paula does with so many obstacles thrown in her way.

The acting, by the way, was very convincing even in the seemingly unbelievable circumstances. Some of the characters had such extreme emotional turnabouts, it was quite impressive.

This isn't a big-budget film, and it is gritty and harsh in many ways, but it is still a good film that reaches out and shakes up the viewer a bit.

Similar films: An American Crime The Girl Next Door Til Death Do Us Part

Films with director Mario Azzopardi: The Wives He Forgot The Stork Derby Mary Higgins Clark's Loves Music, Loves To Dance Stiletto Dance Bone Daddy Nowhere to Hide

Films with Polly Walker: Clash of the Titans Rome: The Complete Series Scenes of a Sexual Nature Control Eye See You 8 1/2 Women Dark Harbor Talk of Angels Bandyta The Woodlanders Sliver Patriot Games Enchanted April

Films with Luc Picard: Detour Babine A Sunday in Kigali L'Audition 20h17 Rue Darling La Femme Qui Boit

Little House on the Prairie

2011-05-08T16:41:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Jinny
Series information: Little House on the Prairie

Modern technology may not be such a wonderful thing as far as our mental well-being is concerned. We know too much, too soon about every little thing that happens in the world. We are constantly bombarded with trivialities often blown out of proportion by media hype as well as the quiet gloom and doom of economic, political, and religious incidents. We live stress-filled lives ourselves in this fast-paced existence we call life, and carrying the problems of the world on our shoulders is sometimes overbearing. It is in times like these that I turn off the computer, put down the paper or the news magazine, switch off the news on TV, and escape to reruns of Little House on the Prairie.

The show ran from 1974 – 1983 and during that time, we had the pleasure of seeing the children grow up to take their places as productive citizens and parents of Walnut Grove just as the town had progressed and expanded from its humble beginnings.

This series, based on the autobiographical books by Laura Ingalls Wilder, portrays the pioneer life of the Ingall's family and other residents of Walnut Grove, Minnesota. Charles Ingalls (Michael Landon) is the patriarch of the family and will do anything to assure his family's safety and survival including taking odd jobs outside of the farm to make ends meet. His wife Caroline (Karen Grassle) is the compassionate force that holds the family together with her determination and quiet strength.

They have three daughters: the oldest, Mary (Melissa Sue Anderson) is the prettiest, makes perfect grades, and faces a bright future until an unexpected illness leaves her blind; Laura is a feisty and enthusiastic individual who stands up for what she thinks is right and fights to overcome any opposition; the youngest, Cary (Lindsey Sidney Greenbush) is a curious toddler.

Other colorful characters include: Harriet Oleson (Katherine McGregor), the gossip-mongering, self-righteous bigot who is the wife of the owner of the general store; Nels Oleson (Richard Bull) who is the somewhat hen-pecked husband of Harriet who stands up to her and puts her in her place when it really matters; Nellie Oleson (Alison Arngrim) who follows in her mother's foots steps as a bigoted, snobbish little brat; and Willie Oleson (Jonathan Gilbert) who is the wimpy younger brother of Nellie who obeys her in every devious plot. Also among the cast are the magnanimous Dr. Baker (Kevin Hagen) who often accepts produce or poultry as payment as he cares more for his patients than for monetary gain; Isaiah Edwards (Victor French) who is kind of a rough, crass galoot with a heart of gold and an ever ready helping hand; and Rev. Robert Alden (Dabbs Greer) who always leads his flock with a level head and a calm demeanor.

In high school I was taught: times change, people don't change.. the basic wants, needs, and desires have been inherent in man since the days of the cavemen. The manner in which they are handled is influenced by the customs and morality of the existing social setting.

As a parent and former teacher, I think this series is a treasure trove for teaching valuable life lessons, morals, and social skills. Little House on the Prairie developed many themes including adoption, prejudice, alcoholism, blindness, terminal illnesses, morphine addiction, and rape. It is best for children to view this with their parents as insights into history may have to be provided for full understanding of some of the episodes. Also, discussions after the viewing would be most beneficial.

For example, segregation was still in practice and the children of Walnut Grove reflected the beliefs of their parents be they positive or negative- much as children do today. Also, there were no government handouts or relief programs; people willingly helped each other for free. Formal education took place in a one room schoolhouse with a single teacher where children wanted to attend and considered themselves fortunate to be able to do so. The community whole-heartedly supported and respected education...unlike many areas today where public education is neither supported nor respected. In addition, the community ran the town via town meetings and votes. Integrity was essential and corruption was virtually non-existent except when unsavory strangers would come into town.

There were no cell phones, televisions, movies, radios,computers or any of the modern conveniences we take for granted. Which brings me to my final point: with the impersonal aspects of relationships today – face to face encounters seem to be few and far between. Business is conducted via email, fax, or conference call. Customer service is provided through a machine where your verbal answers to their questions are often not interpreted correctly. The chances of talking to a real live person after a wait of at least ten minutes is astronomical, and even then you are likely to be transferred to another department only to begin the process all over again.

Back then everything was done in person. Deals were often made verbally with a promise and a handshake, and to dishonor that promise was tantamount to treason. Trust was the norm rather than the exception. Oh, for the “good old days”.....

Related Films: Little House on the Prairie - Christmas Little House on the Prairie - The Premiere Movie Little House on the Prairie - Journey in the Spring Little House on the Prairie - I'll Be Waving as You Drive Away Beyond Prairie: True Story of Laura Ingalls Wilder

Films with Micheal Landon: Sam's Son: Michael Landon's Story Legend of Tom Dooley God's Little Acre Love Is Forever Where Pigeons Go to Die

The Girl Next Door

2011-05-07T13:30:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Girl Next Door

This film was based on Jack Ketchum's novel "The Girl Next Door", which in turn was based on the true child abuse/murder case of Gertrude Baniszewski.

The general plot is that are orphaned and sent to live with their Auntie Ruth (Blanche Baker), who has a lot of sons and more than a few screws loose. The older of the sisters, Meg (Blythe Auffarth), becomes the primary target for Ruth's twisted rage. But Ruth is not without assistance in the torture of the pretty teenager. She enlists the help of her sons and some of their friends. The story itself is told from the point of view of a neighboring boy David (Daniel Manche) who initially befriends Meg and then witnesses her horrible fate.

As to be expected, the story takes little scraps from the actual events it was based on and runs right out of the ball park. I'm not making light of child abuse here, but there is such a thing as going a bit too far and making it wholly unbelievable. Perhaps it's because I'm familiar wit the Baniszewski case, or perhaps because the film started off being very powerful and then crossed the line into absurdity in the last twenty minutes.

This is not a standard horror film. It is a drama about horrible things. What isn't shown does not decrease the sheer horror of the situation, and I'm pleased they weren't going for visual shock value here.

I'm on the fence about the motive for Auntie Ruth. We don't really find out exactly what started her down the path of sadism or set her sights on Meg. There is a lot of mention of beer, but no remorse demonstrated by anyone after any particularly eventful night of drinking. The character herself seems to change her mind on points that you would expect her to be a stickler on. How she went from strictly forbidding any of the boys to touch Meg to staging a neighborhood gang bang with the poor girl is puzzling.

The cruelty displayed by the children is unsettling, more so because anyone who has lived past age ten can understand how cruel children can be even without parental consent and encouragement.

Overall, it wasn't a bad film but not the best I've seen that was based on the actual events.

Similar Films: An American Crime Flowers in the Attic

Films with Blythe Auffarth: Wild About Harry Keeping the Faith

Films with Blanche Baker: Fake Taking Chance The Handmaid's Tale Raw Deal Sixteen Candles

Films with Daniel Manche: I Sell the Dead Headspace

Nine Dead

2011-05-04T15:01:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
film information: Nine Dead

This thriller begins with the same scenario that we've been seeing in a lot of horror and suspense films lately: A bunch of people who are apparently strangers find themselves locked up in a room together by a psycho. The twist? Their host lets them know in no uncertain terms that one of them will die every ten minutes until they can figure out why all of them are there. Let me repeat that: why ALL of them are there. Dead men tell no tales, so this does present quite a pickle when the body counts starts going up.

The captives are quite an assorted group, to say the least. Some are criminals, some are on the side of the law, and some are just common folks. To make matters worse, one of them doesn't even speak English. Of course, when the clock starts ticking down, they all have something to confess... murder, robbery, insurance fraud, adultery, even a pedophile in the group... but what is relevant to their situation and what isn't?

It's not a very easy puzzle to figure out, unless you are the sort that pays close attention to every word and thinks outside the box. And it was a puzzle that I rather enjoyed working through.

The biggest flaw came in the very ending, which was terrible. Fortunately, it didn't have much bearing on the story itself so it's one of the few times I've been able to say that I enjoyed a mystery-solve film while still wanting to throw my shoe at the screen in the last three minutes of it.

Despite the very idea of the plot, this isn't the usual strangers-with-ties-trapped-together horror movie. I would call it a suspense or thriller first. There are no elaborate traps like in Saw II , nor are the prisoners able to do much damage to one another as in Hunger. The killer interacts with his victims - every ten minutes to be precise - but torture is not on his agenda. The very bare bones set-up here is actually a refreshing change from the splashier films in the same vein.

This may be blasphemous coming from an old gorehound like me, but I was actually getting annoyed that the killer kept barging into the conversation every ten minutes just to shoot someone.

I'll give it three stars and pretend I didn't watch the last three minutes.

Similar Films: House of 9 Saw II Hunger Are You Scared The Killing Room

Aaah! Zombies!

2011-05-03T00:47:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Aaah! Zombies (aka Wasting Away)

The general idea for this film is cute. Four longtime friends turn into zombies and the survival story is told from their point of view. They meet up with a soldier who is also infected and can give them a little insight about their new condition. As their merry band grows, they strike out for a land of their own. It's not a bad idea.

Unfortunately, the execution of the story doesn't quite work.

The idea that the zombies can't see themselves is a little corny, but pair with constant flashing between what they see and what everyone else sees... well, it gets a bit annoying. Add to that the fact that the living apparently speak faster than the dead, and the only people who can't see the zombies for what they are are people who have had too much to drink... it makes sense, but it doesn't really play well on screen. The film isn't meant to be taken seriously, but the constant jumping back and forth makes it downright silly.

This film also presents a wonderful example on how sometimes CG is not the way to go. I understand that the zombie-inducing liquid glows lime green, but it just seems too cartoonish...especially when the "living vision" scenes are done in black and white.

On the plus side, the zombie makeup was fun and did work well in the black-and-white scenery.

Is it a funny movie? Well, it did have its moments, but it wasn't on par with other zombie comedies like Shaun of the Dead or Fido.

Overall, I was disappointed with it. It had the potential, but in my opinion just didn't work out well in the presentation.

Similar films: The Return of the Living Dead Fido Boy Eats Girl

The Perfect Witness

2011-05-02T02:58:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Perfect Witness
This film is also known as The Ungodly.

This is the fourth film I've seen in recent years that takes the "Let's tag along with a serial killer" plot approach, but it does manage to distinguish itself enough not to be considered a blatant rip-off.

The plot centers around Mickey (Wes Bentley), an amateur film-maker who seems to have the unbelievable luck of catching the local serial killer doing the dirty deed on video. While his buddy strongly advises against it, Mickey decides to take a chance and try to blackmail the killer into doing a documentary.

It turns out that Mickey is really good at investigating people, but James the killer (Mark Borkowski) is no slouch in that department either and soon gains the upper hand.

The film starts off strong and doesn't dilly-dally around when it comes to jumping right into the story. For a while, everything is pretty straight-forward with an aggressive film-maker and his reluctant but charismatic subject.

And then the mommy issues came into play on both sides of the fence. From this point on, the story seems to start flopping around a bit and my attention started drifting away as the twists and turns started hitting dead ends and the last shred of believability flew out the window.

I did like the killer character, even though the film did start slather the "he was such a nice guy" facade on a little too thickly. His nervousness at first being caught followed by the gain of confidence as he began manipulating the little twerp that was trying to blackmail him was played rather well.

The film-maker character seemed a little off to me, even more so when various substances were added to his personality. It's hard for me to see how someone who displayed being quite clever in the beginning would be making so many dumb mistakes. Even worse, he was never called on any of those dumb mistakes which would have made for a much more interesting ending to the story. (Fingerprints, anyone?)

I won't say that the film is completely bad, but it was disappointing.

Similar films: Mr. Brooks Behind the Mask - The Rise of Leslie Vernon How To Be A Serial Killer

Films with Wes Bentley: Jonah Hex Dolan's Cadillac The Tomb The Last Word P2 Ghost Rider Weirdsville The Game of Their Lives The Four Feathers Soul Survivors American Beauty

Deadgirl

2011-04-29T00:04:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Deadgirl

Deadgirl is a charming little coming of age tale about two boys, Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and J.T. (Noah Segan) finding their first girlfriend. They actually find her naked and tied up in the basement of an old abandoned mental hospital.

While Rickie wants to release the poor girl (Jenny Spain), J.T. decides that the only right thing for a teenage boy to do is keep her tied up and use her as his personal sex slave.

Oh, and it seems that she's also a really well-preserved zombie.

This is probably one of the most unusual living dead films I've ever seen, although the Deadgirl herself is not the main focus of the story. That honor goes to the twisted "buddy story" where one friend finds his dark side and the other still needs to find his testicles. The buddy story turns into the buddy system when more teenage boys are invited down into the basement to join the party. Inevitably, many of them wind up dead or undead.

It is a beautifully shot film and all of the characters, including the deadgirl, are very believable considering the situation they are in. The film has the flavor of River's Edge, in the what-do-you-do-when-your-friend-does-something-really-bad kind of way. I think that's what I found most unsettling about the whole story, moreso because there have been actual cases of kids staying quiet about dead people - and not the reanimated kind of corpse.

The film gets very dark and serious, but there are a handful of scattered scenes that lighten the mood a bit from time to time. There is a lot of sexual content and a good dose of violence... it's just not for the squeamish.

It was also a much better film than I thought it was going to be. Usually when I see the words "sex slave" and "dead" in the same sentence on a film description, I start thinking it will be something silly along the lines of Frankenhooker. I was extremely pleased to find that I was wrong, especially since I'm usually not when it comes to these sort of things.

Similar films: River's Edge The Dead Girl

Films with director Marcel Sarmiento: Heavy Petting

Films with Shiloh Fernandez: Red Riding Hood Happiness Runs Skateland Cadillac Records Gardens of the Night Red Interstate

Films with Noah Segan: All About Evil Chain Letter Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever The Brothers Bloom The Visitation Self-Medicated Adam & Steve Waterborne

Train

2011-04-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Train

Train is the story of Alex (Thora Birch), a young woman who is part of a USA wrestling team that is competing in Europe along with her boyfriend and a few of their closest friends. Of course, they just can't stay in their hotel when there is so much partying to be had. It's too bad they missed their train... but lucky for them that a nice lady pointed out a smaller train that is going exactly where they need to be.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Turistas on wheels.

This film seems to be very inspired by the popular torture porn films. Even the opening credits involve more blood and body parts than your average Friday the 13th flick. The basic idea is that this particular rouge train is actually the most unsanitary organ transplant clinic in the world, and the operators use every tourist they can get their hands on for the donors. Of course, we all known that it's best if the donor is kept alive as long as possible before harvesting organs (even better if the needed parts are non-vital). Also, this group of European doctors don't seem to believe in anesthetics... at least not for the folks who didn't pay a great deal of money to board the train.

It's a ninety minute bloodbath with minimal distractions by way of a plot or subtext.

At least it's not a watery bloodbath. The gore is juicy and the torture...um, I mean organ harvesting... is worthy of a few cringes despite being utterly unbelievable.

Is it actually a good movie? No.
Is it just a fun bone for the gorehounds? Definitely.

Similar Films: Turistas Hostel Hostel - Part II Anatomy

Films with director Gideon Raff: The Killing Floor

Films with Thora Birch: Winter of Frozen Dreams Dark Corners Slingshot Silver City Ghost World The Hole Dungeons & Dragons American Beauty

2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams

2011-04-28T17:49:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams

The sequel to 2001 Maniacs, which was in turn a campy remake of the cult film Two Thousand Maniacs, follows along the same basic story of a town full of wrongly-slaughtered people during the Civil War seeking bloody vengeance on any Yankee they can get their hands on.

The twist this time is that all the cannibal ghosts left their quaint little town and took their bloody jamboree on the road. As luck would have it, they cross paths with an obnoxious traveling reality show starring two ditsy blondes, and the expected chaos ensues.

Like its predecessor, 2001 Maniacs - Field of Screams doesn't even try to take itself seriously. Also like its predecessor, they seem to be missing about 1,989 people to help out in the slaughter. However, the town characters that attend the jamboree are certainly easy to distinguish from one another.

There were a few character changes from the last 2001 Maniacs film. Most noticeable is that Bill Moseley stepped into Robert Englund's big boots to play Mayor Buckman. It's not a bad casting choice, but it's just not quite the same Bucky either.

The other big character makeover was Harper (Nivek Ogre). Somehow the charming southern gentleman turned into a goth veterinarian. I'm not saying that this was altogether a bad thing, for every traveling show needs its one tall, dark, and creepy character, but it seemed to be unbalanced to have attractive lures for the male victims and not for the ladies.

Granny Boone (Lin Shay) is still with us and feisty as ever. Actually, maybe she's just a bit too feisty this time around (as demonstrated in the trailer.) Her boys are still roaming around too, although Hucklebilly is now all grown up.

The story moves fast, but it's just not as creative as the earlier film. It borrows its first kill technique from the original 2000 Maniacs and then starts out promising with its early victims... but then it falls flat. There are a lot of off-color humor and even contemporary references to try to make things funny, but it doesn't quite work.

The big ending... muh.

On the plus side, we do get a bit more information about the wartime slaughter that ticked all these ghosts off in the first place. Some of the maniacs are not portrayed as being just homicidal dumb-bells regardless of their stereotyped characters.

However, the film does slide across that line of silliness that made it difficult for me to really enjoy. I like witty horror comedy, but not splat-stick. To be fair, that's just my personal taste.

Related Films: 2001 Maniacs Two Thousand Maniacs

Films with director Tim Sullivan: 2001 Maniacs Driftwood

Films with Bill Moseley: Godkiller: Walk Among Us The Devil's Rejects House of 1,000 Corpses The Graves Dead Air Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet The Devil's Tomb ALONE IN THE DARK 2 Repo! The Genetic Opera Babysitter Wanted The Alphabet Killer Halloween A Dead Calling Thr3e Fallen Angels Essence of Echoes Army of Darkness The First Power OSA The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

Films with Lin Shaye: Killers By Nature American Cowslip: Redneck Comedy My Sister's Keeper Asylum Killer Pad Driftwood Snakes on a Plane 2001 Maniacs Drop Dead Sexy Hate Crime The Hillside Strangler Wish You Were Dead There's Something About Mary

How To Be A Serial Killer

2011-04-28T14:41:00.000-07:00

Review by Shiva
Film information: How to be a Serial Killer

This is one of those light-hearted, feel-good, dark comedies that turn films like Big Daddy and The Karate Kid on their ear. It's a mentor story gone far off the deep end, and it is a fun little ride.

Mike (Dameon Clarke) is a highly optimistic serial killer who takes local video store clerk Bart (Matthew Gray Gubler) under his wing to become his protege. With just ten easy lessons he can teach young Bart how to murder his way to a better life.

The formula Mike uses is actually quite admirable as well as clever. Children and animals are off-limits, rape and robbery is a no-no, and killing the handicapped is just cheating. Instead, Mike encourages his young student to choose victims that the world would be better off without... the jerk customer, the animal abuser, the guy with severe road rage...the list goes on and on.

However, things go downhill fast when Mike ends up having to break one of his own rules and Bart gets a crash-coarse in how to get away with murder.

The plot is not a completely original idea but the presentation is fun. The humor is more subtle than not and it does make a few very good points about how many serial killers are able to enjoy long careers.

There is a lot of violence, but the story is strong enough so that the film doesn't depend on the buckets of blood that other indy horror-comedies do in order to keep its viewers interested. And like Showtime's Dexter, you might just find yourself rooting for the charismatic serial killer.

Similar films: Behind the Mask - The Rise of Leslie Vernon Dexter Mr. Brooks

Films with director Luke Ricci: Fast Girl

Films with Dameon Clarke: I Love You Phillip Morris Dark Awakening A Scanner Darkly The Prodigy (Unrated)

Films with Matthew Gray Gubler: Criminal Minds Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (500) Days of Summer Alvin and the Chipmunks RV

Antichrist

2011-04-28T01:53:00.000-07:00

Review by Shiva
Film information: Antichrist

I have heard that Antichrist is a very controversial film. I have also heard others claim that it is far-removed from being controversial. After viewing it tonight, I think that those naysayers very likely fell asleep before the controversial part kicked in.

First of all, it has a very pretty art house-style opening. Sex in any horror film is always a prelude to something bad happening, and in this case the baby went right out the window. This sets the stage for the next 90 minutes.

He (Willem Dafoe) and She (Charlotte Gainsbourg) - and yes, the characters don't actually have names - begin the grieving process. Well, She grieves, He observes and tries to help since he's a psychologist by trade and smarter than her pill-pushing doctor.

So we start with 20 minutes of alternating therapy speeches and sex. Eventually He decides that sex with a wife who just lost her only child is a bad idea and bringing her to the place she fears most is a much better way to cope, so we are treated to another 20 minutes of alternating therapy speeches and hiking.

Once they arrive at the cabin, a few omens begin to pepper the action. Lots of dead or dying young animals, crying baby dreams, and nightly showers of acorns. We actually hear the word "satan" uttered for the first time, and learn that She once started a thesis study on the persecution of witches. She is also now prone to some severe mood swings.

Eventually He opens an envelope and reads a letter which is apparently a letter from the director instructing him that it is now his turn to develop some deep psychological issues. This is short-lived, however, and very shortly She regains the title of being the crazier of the two.

The film then takes a twist from "psychological art film thriller" to "hard core porn with bloody ejaculations" after She comes to the conclusion that women are evil by nature. I'm not kidding.

Finally, about eighty minutes into the film, things finally start to get interesting. And a little confusing.

No, make that a lot confusing. It seems to attempt to explain everything toward the end, but it is still fairly vague. I "got it", but I couldn't tell you quite how I "got it".

I just didn't feel that there was much of a payoff for as long as I sat watching pretty scenery and listening to psycho-babble. Not even the obviously controversial scenes really made up for it, even though I was sincerely hoping that they would.

The acting was fine. The characters were believable when they were in believable situations, and Gainsbourg was certainly able to out-crazy Dafoe. The pretty scenes that weren't set to music seemed to be drawn out too long, which planted this firmly as an "art house film" in my mind. The violence was cringe-worthy and at some points creative.

However, how all these things were combined just didn't play out well. It's one of those films that I think might have been better as a short film.

Similar films: Bug

Films with director Lars von Trier: Dancer in the Dark Manderlay Dogville

Films with Willem Dafoe: Miral Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant Daybreakers Adam Resurrected Spider-Man 3 The Walker Inside Man Manderlay XXX - State of the Union The Aviator The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou Spider-Man 2 Spider-Man The Reckoning Animal Factory American Psycho Boondock Saints The Last Temptation of Christ Platoon

Films with Charlotte Gainsbourg: Persecution The City of Your Final Destination I'm Not There I Do Golden Door The Science of Sleep Lemming 21 Grams My Wife is an Actress Jane Eyre The Cement Garden

Dead Snow

2011-04-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Dead Snow

Normally, I'm not a big fan of zombie films. While I'll watch new Romero zombie movies just for sheer sentimental reasons, that particular breed of monster is not among my favorites. Once in a while a film will add something new and grab my attention, like giving them speed in the remake of Dawn of the Dead or treating them as pets in Fido, but usually hordes of lumbering rotting flesh with a taste for brains doesn't do it for me.

This film may be added to the exceptional list.

The basic plot is that a group of medical students led by Vegard (Lasse Valdal) go up to a remote cabin in the woods for some fun in the snow. After the obligatory scene of ignoring a crazy old man's warning about the area being haunted by the ghosts of disgruntled Nazis, the inevitable zombie invasion proceeds.

As I said, I don't watch many zombie movies, so the idea of zombies engaging their would-be victims in hand0to-hand combat was fun for me to watch. I don't see that very often outside of the The Evil Dead movies. And there is a clever blend of horror and humor that balances nicely without getting corny, which I really enjoyed.

Another thing that caught my attention is that the zombies were not altogether brain-dead. They were actually quite well organized and displayed the type of disposition that you would expect from a squad of Nazi soldiers. The victims, on the other hand... well, let's just say that at one point they do manage to burn down their own cabin. But they have spirit and won't go down without a fight, so we'll excuse their utter lack of survival skills.

Speaking of survival skills, the one character that does seem to posses this kind of knowledge is conveniently the one who leaves the others alone in order to look for his girlfriend. Hilarity ensues.

This film also made the most frequent and inventive use of intestines that I have ever seen. Who knew that lower intestines were second only to duct tape?

The makeup on the zombies was very good too. It really worked out well against the snowy scenery and even looked "pretty" in an undead sort of way. They weren't overdone like we see in so many other zombie films, presumably because most of them originally died from hypothermia and their bodies kept well-preserved in the chilly climate. Two thumbs up for having a legitimate excuse for good-looking corpses.

All in all, a fun movie. I recommend it to zombie fans and non-zombie fans alike.

Similar films: The Evil Dead Evil Dead II Cabin Fever

Films with director Tommy Wirkola: Kill Buljo

The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

2011-04-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Human Centipede

Have you ever been told by people that you really have to see a film because it's "right up your alley"? Well, I'm beginning to wonder what some folks think about me now! I always thought I had a reputation for being a gorehound, so I sat down to watch this under the assumption that it would be a bloodbath.

I wouldn't call it gory, but I can certainly see how it falls into the "horror" genre.

The Human Centipede tells you right up front what it is about. Yes, a crazy doctor (Dieter Laser) bags himself a few victims and tries to turn them into a multi-segmented abomination of nature. In fact, at one point he even literally spells it out for you in graphic detail with a fun projector display. Once you see what his plans are, you really start hoping that he fails...

But he doesn't.

The film isn't terribly graphic when compared to films like Hostel or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but it certainly doesn't need to be. Behind the bandages, you know what is happening and it is indeed stomach-turning.

I have a deep appreciation for the actors playing the three main victims: Lindsey (Ashley C. Williams), Jenny (Ashlynn Yennie), and Katsuro (Akihiro kitamura) who sacrificed their dignity on the altar of cinema to create this horrifying little story.

As for the Dr. Heiter character, I applaud an actor who has literally gotten "batshit crazy" down to an art form. His facial expressions alone are worth the price of admission.

On the technical side, it is definitely a low-budget indy film but very nicely done. Once you get used to the idea of what being a human centipede entails, it's easy to start admiring the scenery (and the doctor's house!) You might even laugh at the absurdity of the whole training program that the doctor puts his new pet through.

And then the film whacks you again with an utterly horrifying ending.

This film is not for everyone. In fact, I don't think that most people would find it pleasant at all... which is exactly why I enjoyed it. It goes somewhere we haven't seen before and reminds us that torture comes in many different forms and excessive bloodshed is optional.

Films with director/writer Tom Six: Gay in Amsterdam

Films with Dieter Laser: Baltic Storm Big Girls Don't Cry Lexx Der Unhold Meeting Venus

Similar films: Yeah, right.

Let Me In

2011-04-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Let Me In

The American version of the Swedish horror film Let The Right One In. Like the original, it s a very pretty film that focuses on two rather creepy kids. Abby (Chloe Moretz) who likes to kill people, and Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee) who knows a lot of bullies who need to be killed.

But more important than the bloodshed is the very awkward love story. When you think about how vampires generally drip of sexuality and combine that with the fact that no one in their right mind thinks of 12-year-old girls as sexy (including 12-year-old boys) you begin to realise how horrible being a tweenage vampire must be. I've not seen a girl in such a predicament played so well since Claudia in Interview with the Vampire.

This version does capture that awkward romance just as well as the original. I expected this version to be bloodier, as American films generally are as opposed to their overseas counterparts, and this film certainly did that. But then it went a couple steps further in tailoring to an American audience that frankly I could have lived without.

Must we always have explosions? And do we really need subtle points to be spoon-fed to us and then pounded down with a sledgehammer?

Yeah, we get the idea that vampires generally don't do very well in sunlight. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that dear old "Dad" isn't really dear old dad and Abby has known him a lot longer than just twelve years. Did we really need those points clearly illustrated?

However, I can excuse those little irritations because overall it is a very nice-looking film. While I wouldn't say that I prefer it to the original, I will say that it could easily hold its own. Some of the camerawork was very impressive, and the characters were certainly believable despite being downright creepy. There is a lot of computer-generated effects used on the Abby character which are laughable, but Moretz's portrayal of the character whenever she's not attacking somebody more than makes up for that.

I can also see how die-hard fans of the original might really despise this adaptation. While it stays pretty true to the original film, Let Me In does add a few bells and whistles that can be distracting. However, I will say that I prefer the opening scene in this one, as I think it sets the tone a little better and grabs your attention right off the bat.

For any fan of vampire films, it is worth a view.

Original film: Let The Right One In

Films with director Matt Reeves: Cloverfield The Pallbearer

Films with Chloe Moretz: Diary of a Wimpy Kid Kick-Ass (500) Days of Summer Not Forgotten Bolt The Eye Room 6 Wicked Little Things The Amityville Horror Heart of the Beholder

Films with Kodi Smit-McPhee: The Road Romulus, My Father Fatal Contact: Bird Flu in America

Similar Films: Interview with the Vampire Grace

To Kill a King

2011-04-25T17:51:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: To Kill A King

This film was a lot better in explaining the conflict between Lord Fairfax (Dougray Scott), General Cromwell (Tim Roth), and the King Charles I (Rupert Everett) which ultimately resulted in the execution of the king and Cromwell taking the short-lived title of "Protector" of the country. For those of you who don’t know the history, I shan’t spoil it for you. Unlike Elizabeth - The Golden Age, this film lets you know exactly what’s going on.

My one big complaint was the execution scene. Yeah, I know...imagine that. But not how it was done, but rather what wasn’t done. The character of Charles I was played wonderfully arrogant, and Cromwell portrayed in all his sadistic glory, so it surprised me that they did not include the final insult that Cromwell inflicted on the king. You see, the block on which Charles I was beheaded on was only 10 inches tall, which required the king to lay down on the ground (as opposed to kneeling) and this was terribly humiliating for the king. But instead the film gave him a regular block and he got to die with dignity and poise. (It was very well done, in an interesting point-of-view.)

But otherwise I really enjoyed the film, even allowing for the various liberties that were taken in order to make the story run smoothly. Definitely one that I will be picking up on DVD for my collection.

Similar Films: The Tudors Anne of the Thousand Days / Mary, Queen of Scots The Other Boleyn Girl

Films with director Mike Barker: Shattered A Good Woman Best Laid Plans

Films with Tim Roth: The Incredible Hulk Virgin Territory Funny Games (2008) Youth Without Youth Even Money Dark Water Don't Come Knocking The Last Sign Battle of the Brave Silver City The Beautiful Country The Musketeer Invincible Lucky Numbers Planet of the Apes Four Rooms Pulp Fiction Reservoir Dogs Vincent & Theo The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover To Kill a Priest

Films with Dougray Scott: New Town Killers Hitman Perfect Creature Dark Water The Truth About Love Ripley's Game Enigma Mission - Impossible II Ever After - A Cinderella Story Deep Impact Another 9 1/2 Weeks Princess Caraboo

Films with Rupert Everett: Wild Target Stardust Shrek the Third Quiet Flows the Don The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe Separate Lies A Different Loyalty Shrek 2 Stage Beauty Inspector Gadget An Ideal Husband My Best Friend's Wedding The Madness of King George Cemetery Man

Elizabeth - The Golden Age

2011-04-25T17:42:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Elizabeth The Golden Age

Ugh. I can think of no other word (or noise) to describe my feelings about this utter piece of historically inaccurate crap. The costumes were beautiful, as one would expect when portraying the court of Queen Elizabeth I. But like a few other films I’ve seen about specific people in history, the screenwriters decided that everyone in the world already knew all about the conflict between the Queen of England (Cate Blanchett) and the Queen of Scots (Samantha Morton), and so they didn’t bother going into any detail. Mary Stuart... sign these papers, act surprised, and go straight to the block without the audience benefiting to see a trial that might shed some light on the plot!

The story also focuses heavily on Elizabeth’s relationship with Sir Walter Raleigh (Clive Owen), which seemed a bit odd to me. In fact, I had to keep reminding myself that it was Raleigh that was being portrayed and not the Earl of Essex.

So visually pleasing, yes... but don’t substitute this film for a history book!

Similar films: Elizabeth Elizabeth I

Films with director Shekhar Kapur: The Four Feathers Elizabeth Bandit Queen Mr. India

Films with Cate Blanchett: Hanna Robin Hood The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Notes on a Scandal The Good German Babel Little Fish The Aviator The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou The Lord of the Rings: The Motion Picture Trilogy The Gift The Talented Mr. Ripley Elizabeth Paradise Road Oscar & Lucinda

Films with Clive Owen: Boys Are Back Duplicity The International Shoot 'Em Up Children of Men Sin City Derailed The Bourne Identity Gosford Park

The Abandoned

2011-04-25T17:29:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Abandoned

Of all the 2006 After Dark Horrorfest films, this one is my favorite hands-down. And apparently many people agreed with me on that because it was voted as being Best in Show and rewarded with a regular theatrical run.

Set in a remote part of Russia, The Abandoned follows an American woman’s quest for discovering the truth behind her mysterious origins, since she has just found out about her native inheritance.

After arriving at the old family homestead that no one has kept up with in forty years, Marie (Anastasia Hille) is surprised to meet Nicolia (Karel roden), the brother she never knew she had, who just happened to start seeking out his roots at the same time. That seems to be a pretty common trend among long lost twins.

While romping around the family home, she also runs into some very creepy yet strangely familiar people who seem to have very questionable intentions that they aren’t openly sharing with anyone.

But what really makes this film are the visuals, which are downright disturbing. The story is well-executed, and although it gets slow at some points it still manages to keep the audience interested as it plods through tedious little items that will be useful to know later.

Of all the films in this first season of the After Dark Horrorfest series, I would certainly recommend this one to be put at the top of your viewing list!

Similar Films: Doppelganger

Films with Anastasia Hille: The Hole RKO 281 - The Battle Over Citizen Kane

Films with Karel Roden: Orphan RocknRolla Running Scared The Bourne Supremacy Hellboy Bulletproof Monk Blade II

Reincarnation

2011-04-25T17:22:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Reincarnation

Reincarnation is the J-Horror contribution to the Horrorfest, so of course it was high on our must-see list. Accurately described as being The Shining of Japan, the plot revolves around a mass murder that took place in a grand hotel several years earlier.

Enter the cast and crew of a hot new horror film going for accuracy by filming in the exact location where the crimes took place. Always a great idea.

As the title suggests, the main theme of the story is about reincarnation, as one young actress begins to experience strange flashbacks connected to the terrible murders that the film is dramatizing. This is further peppered with a great deal of strange coincidences, and topped off with an extremely creepy doll.

Brought to us by one of the better-known directors, Takashi Shimizu of The Grudge fame, the film is shot in a similar style with its share of chilling moments and interesting visuals. Perhaps not the best we’ve seen from Shimizu, but certainly nothing to scoff at either.

Films with director Takashi Shimizu: The Grudge The Grudge 2 Marebito

Similar films: The Shining House The Amityville Horror

The Hamiltons

2011-04-25T17:11:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Hamiltons

I really liked the premise of this story. It was a sort of cross between the vampire movie Near Dark and the television drama Party of Five. Hey, your chocolate got into my peanut butter...

The Hamilton household consists of four siblings who lost both their parents in a never-really-explained accident who are trying to make it as a normal family on their own. Of course, they are also the type of people whose main source of sustenance is human blood, so it’s not as easy as one might think to maintain appearances.

The bulk of the story is told from the point-of-view of Francis (Cory Knauf), the teenage boy of the house who not only has to worry about his school grades and family secrets, but also the frequent visits from the friendly social worker. It’s a beautiful coming-of-age story as our young hero begins to develop a bond with one of the freshly-stocked pantry items in the basement.

Although the characters try to be deep and diverse, Darlene (Mackenzie Firgens), the lone female of the clan really brings the whole family down by way of giving the appearance of a typical All-American family. While we can chuckle at the clean-cut eldest who has assumed the role of family leader, takes on all the responsibilities, and has the occasional guilty pleasure of a man in his bed; and we can forgive the middle brother who has that charming “bad boy” attitude that no horror film blood-drinking family seems to be able to do without, the girl needs a serious character makeover. After all, nothing screams “Nope, no vampires here” like a pale woman with black hair, gussied up with black lipstick and heavy eyeliner, clad in outfits that are all the rage in certain Goth clubs.

But if you can excuse Little Miss Death On Heels, the story is actually very enjoyable and even endearing.

Similar films: Let The Right One In Near Dark Let Me In

Films with director Mitchell Altieri: The Violent Kind April Fool's Day Lurking In Suburbia

Films with Cory Knauf: The Violent Kind Godspeed Marin Blue Pocahauntus

Films with Mackenzie Firgens: The Violent Kind The Village Barbershop The Pink Conspiracy Revolution Summer Sweet Insanity

The Gravedancers

2011-04-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Gravedancers

I really want to say that this one is my favorite so far out of the After Dark Horrorfest films. I really do. And if I had had the good sense to be stricken by some temporary coma during the last ten minutes of the show, I would be raving about how well done it was.

If only…

The Gravedancers centers itself around the terrible consequences of playful grave desecration, punishing those who would dare celebrate being alive by dancing over the graves of people they have never known. It’s always nice to know that your best friend is buried just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the resting places of society’s least favored.

Harris (Dominic Purcell), Kira (Josie Maran), and Sid (Marcus Thomas) were not informed about their buddy's new neighbors.

So after doing the cemetery boogie, our three mourners discover that they are each being stalked by a particularly nasty ghost who was pulled over from “the other side” and has about a month to play cat-and-mouse with them. As luck would have it, they’ve managed to piss off a ten-year-old pyromaniac, a sadistic judge, and a jilted lover with an axe.

Enter the paranormal expert (Tchéky Karyo) and his all-too-serious assistant(Megahn Perry) who just can’t get enough evidence.

The story is wonderful. It grabs your attention and keeps it going, wondering what new tricks the angry ghosts are going to come up with. When they finally gain enough strength to materialize, they do look very fake…but in a very creepy rubber-mask sort of way that makes it completely forgivable.

So after failed attempts to thwart the curse and a few rather horrific casualties, we get to that point in the film where we find out exactly why the ghosts were wearing rubber masks. My guess is that the lion’s share of the effects budget was used to create this glowing snowball of ghoul-lash that chases our heroes out to the final battle.

My appreciation for the film dropped 50 points.

I’ve said this once before, but it would serve well to repeat… a low-budget film can be good, as long as it doesn’t try to give the illusion of being a high-budget film during the finale by slathering on all the CG tinsel.

Similar Films: Thirteen Ghosts The Haunting The Entity

Films with director Mike Mendez: The Convent Bimbo Movie Bash! Real Killers

Films with Dominic Purcell: Straw Dogs Prison Break Blood Creek Primeval Blade: Trinity Three Way John Doe Equilibrium Scenes of the Crime Mission - Impossible II

Films with Josie Maran: The Aviator Little Black Book Van Helsing The Mallory Effect

Films with Marcus Thomas: Stolen You Kill Me Edmond Bigger Than the Sky Noel Scorched Cowboy Up Drowning Mona

Dark Ride

2011-04-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Dark Ride

A psycho-killer wrecks havoc within the walls of an old scary amusement park ride… no, we’ve never seen this before!

Of all the Horrorfest 2006 films I’ve seen so far, this is hands-down my least favorite of the series. Strangely enough, when Garith and I made the trek to the theatres last year to attend the November screenings, this was the film on the top of our must-see list. Too bad the bloke who wrote the promotional synopsis was more convincing than the actual scriptwriter!

Asides from being terribly predictable, in the I-Can-Name-That-Ending-In-Three-Scenes sort of way, it is also poorly executed. There are only two good things I really have to say about this film.

First of all, the sets are pretty interesting, if not scary in a dark kind of way but rather scary in a ha-ha way. Not the typical cart ride in a box like you’d find at Coney Island. The “Dark Ride” here reminds me of a few places I’ve worked at over the years and at one point in the film it mentions having twenty-five rooms (although I only counted about eight.) But I can appreciate the décor of a horror attraction with a budget.

Secondly, however unrealistic and improbable, there is a decapitation scene that seems to literally play off as a pun about “giving head”, for which I’ll give kudos for creativity.

Otherwise it’s no different than your regular garden-variety slasher flick, complete with hulking masked killer, over-sexed boys, and those ever-present annoying bitchy girls that you cheer for as soon as they buy the farm.

Films with director Craig Singer: Perkins' 14 Good Night to Die Animal Room

Similar films: Dark House The Funhouse House on Haunted Hill Urban Legends - Final Cut House of Wax Waxwork / Waxwork II - Lost in Time

Wicked Little Things

2011-04-25T16:39:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: Wicked Little Things

Wicked Little Things begins with a bunch of small children being buried alive in a tragic but intentional coal mining incident. It then cuts to many years later where a mother (Lori Heuring) and her two daughters (Scout Taylor-Compton and Clhoe Moretz) are going to reclaim the old family house of her late husband, where there are lots of newspaper articles laying around the cellar about the terrible coal mining incident that killed many children. Soon the older daughter meets the local teenagers who tell her about a terrible coal mining incident that killed many children. Then the woman starts talking to some locals who tell her about the terrible coal mining incident that killed many children.

Have you gotten the point that this film’s plot revolves around the terrible coal mining incident that killed many children?

Apparently the film-makers took to heart the reports that a third of the population suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and thought it best to give us all a hand by reminding us about the simple plot point every ten minutes or so.

But this particular installment of the After Dark Horrorfest Films is a heart-warming tale of a struggling single mother trying to start a brand new life for her children in the middle of a nice wooded area that is infested with vengeful flesh-eating zombie children. Oh, and did I mention that there was a terrible coal mining incident that killed many children?

Good points to this film include a lovely setting, interesting story idea, a few grisly scenes that were executed nicely, and some pretty creepy kids armed with pickaxes that give Village of the Damned a run for its money.

Bad points include limited acting skills on the part of the cast, goofy script lines that makes me think the writer is still living in the 1980s, and the constant reminders about the terrible coal mining incident that killed many children.

Is it worth the watch? Sure, but don’t expect it to be something so overly scary that you should monitor your heart rate while viewing it. Like most of the films from this series, I can’t figure out what the big “couldn’t be shown in theatres” hype was all about. This certainly isn’t the first time American movie-goers have seen sweet little kids doing terrible things with sharp pointy objects.

Similar films: Children of the Corn Village of the Damned The Good Son Orphan

Films with director J.S. Cardone: 8MM 2 - Unrated and Exposed The Mummy an' the Armadillo True Blue The Forsaken Outside Ozona Black Day Blue Night Climate for Killing Shadowzone Thunder Alley The Slayer

Films with Lori Heuring: Hunger The Poker Club Prom Night False Prophets 8MM2 The Mummy an' the Armadillo Runaway Jury Mulholland Drive The In Crowd

Films with Scout Taylor-Compton: Triple Dog Love Ranch The Runaways Halloween II Smile Pretty Obsessed April Fool's Day Halloween An American Crime

Films with Chloe Moretz: Let Me In Diary of a Wimpy Kid Kick-Ass (500) Days of Summer Not Forgotten Bolt The Eye Room 6 Wicked Little Things The Amityville Horror Heart of the Beholder

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

2011-04-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

Rob Zombie does it again... cartoon-style!

This is not your average Saturday morning cartoon. In fact, you are going to want to lock your kids in their room and keep them far, far away from the television set for this one. It is bloody, seedy, vulgar, violent, perverted, and simply brilliant.

El Superbeasto is a washed-up wrestler who produces, directs, and stars in porn films. He also seems to be in the habit of being attacked by all kinds of crazy critters. When his latest lust-object from the strip club is abducted by Dr. Satan, he enlists the help of his sexy mercenary-like sister to save the day...

What follows is nothing short of wild ride. There is a mixture of highbrow and lowbrow humor here that gives everyone something to laugh at. Mr. Zombie isn't above poking fun at himself and we are treated to cameos from characters in his previous films. The leading characters here are outrageous, even for cartoons, but aren't childishly so. It's a fun blend of sex and violence with a heavy dose of humor.

The soundtrack is hilarious. At some points the music actually narrates the action, which just adds to the absurdity and works very well for the type of film this is.

The film certainly doesn't take itself seriously, and I certainly enjoyed watching it.

Official Movie Website: www.elsuperbeasto.com

Other films by Rob Zombie: House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Halloween, Halloween II

The Devil's Rejects

2011-04-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva
Film information: The Devil's Rejects

Quite frankly, this is an amazing film.

The sequel to House of 1,000 Corpses, this time Rob Zombie takes his killer Firefly family out of their happy home and puts them on the run with a vengeful lawman hot on their trail. As in the previous film, The Devil's Rejects is heavily influenced by 1970s horror and you can see this in every single frame.

What I loved so much about it is that it is brutal, gritty, and very believable. The writing was masterful and I could mention dozens of very memorable quotes that I'm sure have ended up on custom bumperstickers and t-shirts. The members of the family who were able to escape the raid on the notorious house still have their fun, but their lives on the run are very different from the carefree attitude they had while safe in their nest.

The multiple victims they come across are unimportant. That's how the family sees them and that is also how the audience members are forced to view them. Instead, we begin to dive more into the family-bonding of the main characters. It's a well thought-out blend of coarseness and tenderness that makes you sympathize with these horrible outlaws who are being chased by a very angry sheriff. The line between the "good guys" and the "bad guys" becomes extremely blurred, and that is what makes this film so outstanding in my eyes.

Visually, the film is crude, dirty, and... well, perfect. You can almost feel the dust in your nostrils and smell the cheap perfume of the whores. There is a lot of violence, but it's not the same as in the first film. The violence is not as playful, it even feels desperate at times, and it's not all committed by the same people.

This is definitely not a film for the squeamish, but should be on the must-see list for any horror fan.

Related Films: House of 1,000 Corpses

Other films by Rob Zombie: House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Halloween, Halloween II The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

Similar Films: The Last House on the Left, I Spit on Your Grave, Desperado

House of 1000 Corpses

2011-04-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

Review by Shiva
Film information: House of 1,000 Corpses

The first film in my "Easter Zombie Marathon".

House of 1000 Corpses is the directorial debut of Rob Zombie, who is a very well-known musician with a tendency to sing about the more brutal side of human nature. He wrote the script, and almost certainly watched over the production like a hawk. Mr. Zombie put a lot of TLC in this film, and it is very obvious that he is a big fan of the old 70s-style horror movies. (We also see this influence in his later films.)

It's a "crazy family" story, akin to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes. But unlike in those films, we get to learn a bit more about how the "Firefly Family" operates, which is something I really enjoyed. These aren't silent, masked killers... they have a wonderful family closeness combined with a devil-may-care attitude and they have a lot of fun while doing horrible things to people.

My only complaint with the story is the half-hearted reasoning behind it. While the official website for the film gave a bit more insight as to why the Fireflies offered up victims to a legendary-but-real maniac called "Dr. Satan", the film itself doesn't really get into it. Considering that it took a few years to get this film made, it is easy to imagine that they simply ran out of time (or more likely, money) to get the whole story out, but it does do a little damage to an otherwise good story.

The characters, particularly the ones directly connected to the Firefly family, are fun and memorable... and in their own crazy way, entirely believable. The victims are a little lacking when put up against such colorful personalities, but they serve well as cannon fodder.

The writing is much better than you would expect from a film in this genre. It is often crude and vulgar, but it fits perfectly with the characters. Usually I don't care for dialog where there is a lot of "F*** this and F**** that!", but it really works in this film.

There is an awful lot of violence - and I do mean the raw, brutal kind. However, it is paired nicely with a soundtrack that makes it fun. (I will never be able to listen to "Brick House" in the same way again!) And it is done with such relish! It's rare that I see a movie where the very human villains seem to really enjoy doing the terrible deeds, but the Firefly family turns it into a bloody party.

Overall, it is a fun film for people who love the horror genre.

Related Films: The Devil's Rejects

Other films by Rob Zombie: House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects, Halloween, Halloween II The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

Similar Films: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, The Hills Have Eyes, The Hills Have Eyes, Part 2, Parents, Wrong Turn

Road Kill

2011-04-23T12:51:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva

I had an awful lot of trouble getting through this movie. It wasn't that it didn't cut it as a horror film or that the acting was so wretched that I couldn't stand to be in the same room as my television set after a few minutes, for that isn't the case here. It is a nasty little ditty about a group of young people who clash horns with a demonic truck, and the performances were plausible.

What bothered me was how much it was spoon-fed to me. There are few things that will get my goat more than repeatedly reminding me that something (in this case, the hood ornament) represents evil... especially when it really doesn't. It would have been just fine, however inaccurate, if one of the characters would have pointed out the ornament to his friends and delivered a short monologue about how the three-headed dog is the most evil thing in Hell and wonder aloud why anyone would decorate their truck with that image.

But no, instead we are treated to several random shots throughout the film of a "live" tri-headed dog with evil glowing red eyes snarling and barking for no apparent reason. In my opinion, they should have put the money they spent on an Cerberus puppet and hired a second screenwriter to fill in the holes in the plot. Believe me, the roads in the Outback had nothing on the script when it came to damaging holes.

I'm still not sure if the truck was actually fueled on souls or if it just preferred blood to high-octane petro.

So it took me three tries to get through this film, which is never a good thing to have happen when I'm looking for new review material. Duckie was with me on the third try and judging on how many times he rolled his eyes... I'm fairly certain his review wouldn't have been much better than mine.

One good point, if you are into this sort of thing, is that it is gorehound candy. As we've seen in films such as Wolf Creek, a lot of nasty things can happen to teenagers who vacation down under.

But overall, I found it both tedious and even boring. The basic idea for the story had some potential, but something derailed in the writing. (Or perhaps it was butchered during production, as scripts can be cut to ribbons during the early stages.)

On IMDB: Road Kill - Road Train

Similar Films: Christine, Maximum Overdrive, Trucks, Joy Ride

Chloe

2011-04-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva

Chloe is a steamy little tale about a distressed woman (Julianne Moore)who hires a strange prostitute (Amanda Seyfried) to seduce her husband (Liam Neeson) in order to prove that he's unfaithful to her.

What it actually seems to focus on is how weird Seyfried's eyes can look with various lighting and camera angles.

But aside from the strange choice in camera angles on that particular actress, the story is solid if not a touch predictable. Okay, maybe a little too predictable. It has a great deal of erotic elements and sexual tension, particularly between the two female leads, but it also veers off sharply into a "crazy other woman" story and ends in exactly the same way as at least four other films in the same vein. I'm actually beginning to wonder if there is an unwritten Hollywood rule about the proper disposal of jilted other women in films.

The performances were good, but not the best I've seen out of any of them. the characters seemed to be a bit stiff, even in situations where you would expect them to go absolutely ballistic. It felt like it was trying to go dark and disturbing at some points, but then hid behind those aforementioned strange camera angles on Seyfried. (I know I keep going back to that, but it was very distracting.)

Not a bad film altogether, but also not one I'd be interested in watching again.

Info on IMDB: Clhoe

Other films with director Atom Egoyan: Adoration, Where the Truth Lies, Ararat, Felicia's Journey, The Sweet Hereafter, Exotica, Calendar, The Adjuster, Speaking Parts, Family Viewing/Next of Kin

Similar films: Mother's Boys, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Fatal Attraction, Poison Ivy, Husbands and Lovers, Obsessed

Dark House

2011-04-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva

Dark House is the story about a group of actors who take a job with a small horror attraction and discover the horror is real. Sounds like that urban legend about prop corpses in a dark ride being actual bodies, right? Great fodder for a horror movie...

Except that this is actually a ghost story and the manner in which our drama students meet their untimely ends is terribly unbelievable. You see, the angry ghost can't off the annoying teenagers herself so she turns the show's holograms against them. Yes, I said holograms. I was very tempted to put this review in the sci-fi category.

The characters are painfully stereotypical. Every one of the main disposition types are represented, so much so that only by having each of them wear a name tag that stated their assigned role in this personality stew would have made it more obvious.

The best character, in my opinion, was the ghost. I don't often see people play crazy characters who I would believe aren't actually playing with a full deck but this actress really pulled it off well. If I were a little kid I'd probably be having nightmares about her.

The story was okay but the attempt at throwing in a red herring was sloppy at best. Trying to illustrate how tech-saavy a ghost is, particularly one that presumably lived before the heyday of computer technology, did not seem to work out very well either.

What bothered me the most about this film was the almost total reliance on computer-generated effects. I understand that the murders were committed by holograms but CG bloodletting just looked like part of the show.

Visually, the film has enough power to keep a viewer interested even with the all-you-can-stomach CG buffet. It does follow the classic slasher formula where cheering as certain characters kick the bucket is appropriate but it isn't on par with the classics by way of suspense or believability.

Info on IMDB: Dark House

Films with director Darin Scott: Caught Up

Similar Films: The Funhouse, Dark Ride, House on Haunted Hill

Spartacus: Gods of the Arena

2011-04-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva

After seeing the incredible job that was done with the story Spartacus: Blood and Sand, it is hard to imagine a prequel being full of surprises. Just glancing over the slaves and guests in the house of Batiatus, we have a pretty good idea as to who is not going to make it through the end credits of Episode Six. We know that we'll find out how Crixus became champion, how Oenomaus went from married gladiator to widowed drill sergeant, and why Batiatus himself has such daddy issues.

Even knowing what we know about the characters, the story is full of surprises and nail-biting drama. The scenes in the arena are spectacular and Roman debauchery flows like the wine. The party grinds to a halt when Batiatus' father makes his entrance and family strife takes center stage.

We are also introduced to some extremely dislikable characters who add a good dose of venom into the mix and we cheer as Batiatus begins to learn the ways of Roman politics and develops a talent for scheming himself.

We also meet Gannicus, the charismatic champion in the house of Batiatus that is coveted by men of higher position in the games. I was a little concerned that this character would be played lightly, but it didn't take long for him to develop some depth and become a very sympathetic character despite his recklessness.

Finishing off the list of memorable characters is Gaia, who is Lucretia's best friend. While the first season of Spartacus reminded us that Roman women could be deadlier than the gladiators they lusted after, a warm, genuine friendship lent a very nice touch in a story full of back-biting and other treachery.

Overall, I am extremely impressed with the series and cannot wait for the second season of Spartacus to come out. The writing is exceptional and the characters well-balanced and very believable. However, this is definitely not a show for the kiddies.

Info on IMDB: Spartacus: Gods of the Arena

Related Films: Spartacus: Blood and Sand - The Complete First Season

Other films with creator Stephen S. DeKnight: Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Smallville, Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Similar Films: Spartacus, Rome: The Complete Series, Spartacus And The 10 Gladiators, Gladiator

Grimm Love

2011-04-10T06:05:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva

Grimm Love is not a horror film, per say, but the subject matter could be downright unsettling to many people. Especially since it is based on a true story.

While the official plot description of the film states that an American student becomes obsessed about a case of cannibalism she is doing a thesis paper on in Germany, the real story is focused on the two men involved in the aforementioned human dining experience. One wishes to eat someone and the other wishes to be eaten by someone in a very unpleasant manner.

There is a long lead-up as the film plods on at a snail's pace as the student explains to us the tragic backgrounds of the two men. However, once you realise what exactly is to occur when the two men meet, you begin to wonder how far they'll go on-screen. It's not a graphic film when compared to many recent movies that leave nothing to the imagination, but it is nicely done to leave the viewers squirming in their seats...particularly the male viewers.

If you are looking for an action-packed bloodbath, this isn't the film for you. If you are in the mood for a deep psychological film with a literal bloodbath, this is one for the must-see list.

Info on IMDB: Grimm Love

Films with director Martin Weisz: The Hills Have Eyes 2

Similar Films:Hunger, Cannibal, Ravenous

Hunger (2009)

2011-03-31T03:00:00.000-07:00

Reviewed by Shiva

First of all, let me start by saying that looking for any additional information on this film, or to find the DVD to purchase, can be a real hassle. It seems that there are dozens of films by this title, and many that are far more popular than this particular film.

I stumbled across this little gem of a suspense film while looking through films available on cable. The description didn't give me a lot of high hopes for it. "Five people wake up to find themselves trapped and don't remember how they got there." Sounds like the description for at least six other films I've seen.

But Hunger stands out. It is certainly a horror film, but the suspense and psychological terror is played heavily here. Five people imprisoned with plenty of water, but no food. How long before they start determining who among them would be tastiest? They are housed relatively comfortably, so it's not an Alive situation where they can just wait for nature to take its course and snack on the corpses.

While I wouldn't say that the acting was outstanding, I will say that the characters were believable. The man who put them all there was the weakest link, in my opinion. But the story really wasn't about him... it was about his unwilling test subjects. The alliances they form, the plots they hatch, the measures they take to make themselves too valuable to be eaten by their fellow prisoners.

Like most films of its kind, it does start off slow. The suspense builds as the days go on. The ending is clever. I'd call it a good "rainy day movie".

Info on IMDB: Hunger

films with director Steven Hentges: Jacklight

Similar Films: Saw II , Are You Scared,Alive, Ravenous,Captivity

Psycho Chicks Anonymous

2011-02-28T10:05:00.000-08:00

Critics in the Crosshairs

Here's something you will almost never find on other film review sites - the opportunity to turn the tables on reviewers and critique the critics!

We can't do a review on this film simply because Psycho Chicks Anonymous was produced by everyone who contributes to this review blog. Duckie was the director, Garith was the cinematographer and producer, and Shiva was the art director.

So this problem becomes a unique opportunity for our readers to post their own reviews on our work.

No, we aren't just going to post all the nice ones. We do know that the film is a far cry from Hollywood standards and certainly won't be to everyone's taste. So we invite criticism, so long as it falls within accepted guidelines and the reviewer takes some time to explain why he or she didn't like something about the film. Just sending us a note that states "This film sucks!" doesn't cut it, but neither does a message that reads "This film was good!".

So Psycho Chicks Anonymous becomes the first film in our new Critics in the Crosshairs section. We'll post any reviews that we get on that page.

Psycho Chicks Anonymous

See the film, write up your review, and send it to Shiva@sirenproductions.net

Sharktopus

2011-02-13T20:36:00.000-08:00

Reviewed by Duckie

Schlockfest.

Sharktopus, a SyFy productions movie directed by Declan O’Brien and written...

You know, that doesn’t matter. It’s produced by Roger Corman and has Eric Roberts in it. Just in case you weren’t sure, the name Roger Corman brings visions of epic cheesy goodness. Eric Roberts is an incredible actor who has no fear of diving into the river of Queso or drink at the pool of Fromage.

Couple that information with the name; Sharktopus, and you can be assured of precisely what you are going to get. Truly, the fun you have with the trailer is pretty much the whole movie.

I really liked it, which is surprising in some really unusual ways.

To begin with, there’s Eric Roberts. You won’t recognize any of the other actors. Many are well known in some circles, but I’m betting you wouldn’t know them without the IMDB. I don’t think anyone was hopeless, but with Eric Roberts in the scene, you get someone to compare them to and everyone just comes up really short. If you’re watching the movie now, try this; Just as Eric Roberts enters a scene, try saying “Excuse me, I’m going to act now”... It sounds right, doesn’t it.

It’s like everyone is sitting a little straighter when he’s around.

The camera work was a little oddball. I could go on for a while about the shaky cam thing I hate, but I’m not going to pick that out for some personal ranting. Instead I’m going to mention the often off look of the movie. It seems as if there are just so many beginner mistakes in how the camera is used. They are subtle and regular and give me the feel of a Troma film without the dripping snark. I can’t decide, was this the result of a fast shoot or was it intended to give the viewer this atmosphere?

The leads played this movie straight which was sometimes painful. Mostly because they had to act across from Mr Roberts. I generally agree with this in a good ‘B’ flick, but conventional wisdom would have had them up against Caspar van Dien or Billy Zane who are much gentler with character actors. I’ll come back to this though.

The supporting cast was more than unusual to say the least. Other than the news team following the creature, everyone else is cannon fodder. A string of people who are there to show how many ways a fictional monster can kill you. Watching them, you get the feel of someone standing up at a big party where everyone is wasted, calling on everyone to come down to the beach to shoot a movie! None of these guys shot for a whole day and they were still buzzing from the party. I wouldn’t doubt it if half the party-goers came up with their own ideas; “Can I get chomped while bungee jumping?”

This was particularly unusual because a good rule of thumb in a ‘B’ movie is that everyone is serious or everyone is having fun. Make it real or make it silly. The leads make it real and the support threw up in the hot tub. Like the camera work, I wonder if this was a brilliant plan or a lucky accident.

The effects were, well, this is a SyFy presentation so money was not an object... that the computer guys had in their hands. They pretty much said to hell with it and just had their own party. Probably some drugs involved, all I can say for sure is that they had fun. I saw on the IMDB boards some movie geeks were complaining about the creature’s method of locomotion... COME ON! Sharktopus! The monster did lots of implausible things just like any CG monster, but it was cute. Seriously. Just watch the damn thing.

Ultimately, I had fun. The movie brought back the kind of feeling I got when I watched Bad Taste as a kid. It’s a silly movie and there is an awareness about the movie like it knows precisely how silly it is. This is also the first time I've seen SyFy promote one of their movies like they should. Acknowledge the schlock and enjoy it for what it is.

From a technical sense, this movie doesn’t even get a single star, but for fun I’m willing to give it three.

Info on IMDB: Sharktopus

Films with director Declan O'Brien: Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead, Cyclops

Similar Films: Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Megapiranha, Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Supercroc, Sharks in Venice, Piranha, PsychoShark, Hammerhead

Dellamorte Dellamore

2011-02-11T18:11:00.000-08:00

Reviewed by Shiva

Film also released as "Cemetery Man".

In a word, this is a very pretty film. By pretty, I mean artistic and visually appealing... even when the things are happening on the screen should by all rights turn your stomach.

I do count it as being my favorite Italian horror film. It's not exactly a "serious" film, as the preview above clearly illustrates, but it's also not a silly movie. The humor is very dark and wrapped in a blanket of absurdity that makes it amusing rather than inspiring full belly laughs.

Rupert Everett was a perfect choice for the lead. The dry humor and reclusive behavior plays a convincing cemetery-keeper who has never learned how to really associate with the living. The supporting cast is a bit less convincing, but the characters are not necessarily meant to be believable. The contrast between Dellamorte's personalty and those of his living associates couldn't be more plain, but that adds to the more subtle layer of humor.

As a zombie film, I liked the approach the film takes. The little problem about the dead rising from their graves is mainly passed off as mere rumor to anyone outside of the cemetery or public offices. Even those who do have to deal directly with the rising corpses treat it as part of the mundane job rather than a serious epidemic. The zombies themselves take the backseat while we genuinely get to know the living characters.

Make no mistake, the zombies are creepy. We see an invasion of recently-deceased children, a motorcyclist who was so tangled up in his vehicle that he was buried with it, and a strange array of other undead characters.

It is a fun film to watch, and a pretty one to boot.

Info on IMDB: Cemetery Man

Films with director Michele Soavi: il sangue dei vinti / Blood of the Losers, arrivederci amore ciao / The Goodbye Kiss, The Church, Stage Fright

Similar Films: Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, Fido, Night of the Creeps, Boy Eats Girl, Shaun of the Dead, Zombie

The Tudors - TV Series

2011-02-08T19:42:00.000-08:00

Reviewed by Shiva

It's unfortunate that I am very familiar with Tudor history, because I knew by the first season that the show would end when King Henry VIII did. The reason being that some of the characters in this show were composites of two or more people, and some of the missing historical figures assured that important contenders for the English throne would never exist to challenge his children.

There was a lot of that sort of historical tinkering in the series, but it did not prevent me from enjoying it as a dramatic "based on" television show. I was actually impressed by some of the kinky little details that they did include - things that aren't often mentioned in the average history books.

The series takes a look at the life of the infamous Henry VIII from a young man up to his death. We meet all six of his wives and those who were closest to him. And if you know anything about his reign, you know that many of those wives and friends have tragic endings.

Because the series takes an intimate approach to the king, there is an awful lot of sex. One place where I do feel they fell short was during the last season when Henry was presumably getting well on in years and falling victim to obesity and ill-health. Johnathan Rhys Meyers, who plays the king, simply cannot be made up to look like an ugly, fat old man. They try to make up for this by drawing attention to a festering wound he has that will not heal, but it still doesn't quite give viewers the idea that his later marital bedroom romps weren't pleasant to watch.

The show gets bloodier as Henry gets older and grouchier, which keeps the tension up nicely both in the royal court and for everyone living anywhere remotely near it. However fictionalized, the settings and characters are believable and make for a nice dramatic story.

True history buffs are likely to get a bit upset at how they dispose of some characters, but if you can get past the creative liberties it is a fun show to watch. To be honest, I would have liked to see them continue on through the reigns of his three children, but because of the aforementioned liberties that would have been difficult to do.

Info on IMDB: The Tudors

Other films with creator Michael Hirst: Elizabeth - The Golden Age, Elizabeth, Meeting Venus, The Ballad of the Sad Cafe, Wherever You Are..., The Deceivers

Related Films The Tudors - The Complete First Season, The Tudors - The Complete Second Season, The Tudors: The Complete Third Season, The Tudors: The Final Season

Similar Films: Henry VIII, The Six Wives of Henry VIII, Henry VIII and His Six Wives (1972),

The Hills Run Red

2011-02-07T20:03:00.000-08:00

Reviewed by Shiva

Quite frankly, this is one of the best truly independent shoestring-budget horror films that I've ever seen.

The story is familiar... three young film-makers setting off on a fact-finding quest to get the scoop on a long-missing movie rumored to be the most disgusting thing ever put on celluloid. They soon discover that the film wasn't fictional and the masked killer is still out there.

On the creativity level, I was very impressed with both the characters and the story itself. It has all the obligatory trappings of a slasher film: sexy naked women, vulnerable young people in the woods, a masked killer with a strange backstory, unpleasant "locals", and lots of bloody kill scenes.

But something that set it apart from the common lot was how it approached each of these seemingly essential ingredients. For example, who would have thought you'd get better cell phone reception on a mountain in the woods as opposed to in the city? Being horror-savvy characters, someone did in fact think to bring a defense weapon while tromping around in the woods at night. Like I said, a different approach to a common issue in these kinds of movies.

The "Babyface" character is very stereotypical as a silent, masked menace. Well, almost silent. He has one line in the movie that is so incredibly well-placed and delivered that I almost stood up and cheered. This movie was just full of cinematic surprises for this jaded horror fan.

Certainly not for the kiddies, but a truly well-made film that is a hybrid between a slasher flick and torture porn.

Info on IMDB: The Hills Run Red

Films with director Dave Parker: The Dead Hate the Living!, Bimbo Movie Bash!

Similar Films: Urban Legends - Final Cut, Cut, Vacancy, Hostel,